Sermon for the First Sunday of Lent Evensong - Beyond the Profile Picture: The Revd Canon Dr Duncan Dormer

Beyond the Profile picture           Portsmouth Cathedral – Preaching March 2025

May I speak in the name of the Living God who whispers into the depths of our heart and calls us to Himself.

Every now and then on my Facebook a message pops up saying ‘X has changed their profile picture’. It has to be said some people change them quite regularly, some people put a lot of thought into them. There is of course a wide range of ways that people present themselves: sometimes it is a happy day like their wedding or graduation; some adults put up a picture of them as a child; others make a statement with a slogan or a flag (Ukraine, Palestine) to identify themselves with a cause; some go for an arty shot of themselves; or something that people ‘who know’ will know and then perhaps the best some go for a cartoon version of themselves. Then there are those, like me, who put a picture of myself at the time it was set up and simply haven’t updated it.

Such online profile pictures are presentations for others to see – they are intended to communicate something of who we ‘really are’ – and what we stand for. They reveal and they also mask who we are. We often contrast such profiles with real life – on the assumption that In Real Life people get a better picture. And whilst it is true that in real life – I am older and greyer than my picture suggests – the reality is of course that we still chose to present who we are, how we are to others.

There are some good reasons for this:

Other people simply don’t need to know all the stuff and details of our lives – partly because as they say, ‘It’s not all about you’ - or me; And no one has the bandwidth for the details of everyone else’s life.

But it is also because we need to protect ourselves – after all we can all be stupid and make mistakes, we all have things which we are ashamed of, embarrassed about – we don’t want these exposed to the possible judgement or ridicule of others. At the same time, of course, we all need to share and be vulnerable but we mostly do that with those we trust deeply and love, who will understand us. Sharing things about ourselves requires a certain wisdom and judgement. We can do so inappropriately, we can ‘overshare’. Sharing in the right way can bring a sense of connection, can help us admit things to or about ourselves; the vulnerability of others can speak to our vulnerability. I have been reading two autobiographies recently. One is by Pope Francis and speaks of some of his childhood misdemeanours. It reminded me of the humiliation and shame I experienced as a 10 year old being caught cheating in a self-marked maths text, thinking, as I was told the answer to one question ‘of course I knew that, its obvious, how stupid’ as I rubbed out the wrong answer to be interrupted by my neighbour shouting ‘Sir, sir..  Duncan’s cheating!

This is why Social Media can be dangerous for younger people is that they are in the process of learning and exploring who they are, and the boundaries of what they can and should share with others. Something adults also struggle with – frankly Social Media is a terrible space for that sort of learning, learning about who we are.

Today we have a very familiar picture painted for us by Jesus – two individuals have gone up to the Temple, the highest point in Jerusalem. They are in a very public space – they can be observed by others.

The Pharisee is at the top of ‘the feed’, the likes are flowing in, he has a mass of followers and friends. He is a model citizen, a success. He has a very disciplined life – he fasts twice a week, he has control over one of the most difficult of human appetites, he doesn’t put on weight. He’s the sort of person who keeps his New Year Resolutions. He gives away 10% of his income to others – the poor, the widowed, the orphans benefit from his generosity. (I won’t ask how many here today fast twice a week or give away a tenth of your income). He’s an impressive guy. He has kept God’s laws and avoided all those activities which mess up lives – his and other peoples – he hasn’t stolen or deceived others or broken relationships. And so he stands in the spotlight ‘he owns it’ in the Temple:

And then we have the tax-collector. Hiding from the light, head and eyes down. A bit of a saddo, he really has no friends, there are no ‘hearts’ or ‘likes’ here. Also rich – he is despised and avoided. Tax-Collector/collaborator with the Roman powers: its not a great look on Linked in; he probably doesn’t admit to his occupation on Facebook. He does not bathe in the light of the admiration of others or of society.

But as we know – Jesus tells this parable to teach us – not about how we are with others – but how we are, how we are in our depths, in the presence of God. What is at stake here is our True Self – not how we are with others, not how we like or want to present ourselves to the world, but all that we are really are.

As humans we are all capable of acting, of presenting ourselves, our motivations and actions in a number of ways. Professional actors, especially those on long-running soaps sometimes find people coming up to them on the street and treating them as if they were the character they portray. One technique some actors employ, method acting, involves trying to adopt the lifestyle and habits of the character they are playing, to become that person – and I recently read of a young actor who gets so into her roles that she starts to find her sense of self begins to disappear – she gets lost in the character. 

This is a danger for all of us – if we get too caught up in the business of how we present ourselves to others, if we edit too much or too often, are too concerned with our ‘profile picture’ or if we start to judge our value and identity by comparison with others (at least I am not like that!), It is a deep human temptation. But if we do that we start to create a False Self, a mask, we start to believe the story we create for ourselves, we become lost and lose touch with what really matters.

There is much to admire about the Pharisee as a human person form the outside but he has lost touch with what is at the heart of reality, lost touch with his soul.

I wasn’t very into football as a child, but I used to enjoy ‘find the ball’ pictures, which had a photograph of a football match in action with the ball taken out, and you had to guess where it was. The Pharisee is a little like that – we can see what’s going on, but the ball has been lost. He does know who he is and what his purpose is – and because of that he can’t help the rest of us. He just stands as an annoying perfect person whose standards we can’t reach. He provides no ladder to help us.

I have recently finished reading the autobiography of the bishop of Dover, Rose Hudson-Wilkin, The Girl from Montego Bay, which I can thoroughly recommend. Her life experience as a Black, Caribbean woman in British society and the Church of England has been very different to mine and she has had the courage to share a lot of very difficult experiences. Her honesty has prompted me again in this season of Lent to turn to Jesus’ teaching about the humility of the tax collector, with whom we can identify. We have all been there – and it is only in humility that we can realise the deep truth that if we are to be genuinely transformed as people rather than simply crafting our profile for others, if we are to have fulfilled lives, to live with purpose, to respond to God’s call on our lives – we need to be honest to God and to ourselves and allow him to whisper healing words into our broken and contrite hearts. Amen