Giving ourselves to God
Revd. Catherine Edenborough, Feast of Stephen, 8am and 11am
Acts 7:51-60
Matthew 10:17-22
Some years ago, when I did a 30-day retreat, the spiritual exercises of St Ignatius, I remember early on my guide asking me what held me back from committing more of myself to God, and one thing I mentioned was that full commitment meant the possibility of suffering and even death, and I shied away from it. It might sound crazy, as we are not likely to find ourselves in that situation in this country, but still, it was a factor in my thinking. It was the act of giving up control that felt scary.
It’s something of a shock to the system this morning to be hearing about Stephen’s martyrdom after only yesterday celebrating the joy of the birth of the baby Jesus. After a month of watching and waiting through Advent for Christ to be born, we are catapulted to the other end of life - in this case the violent death of Stephen at the hands of the authorities and Jesus’ warning that following him means we could face persecution and even death.
Just 24 hours on from his birth, we come face to face with the impact that tiny baby had already had on the world, what he was bringing about on earth: gaining followers who were prepared to die for him, so committed were they to his cause.
Jesus speaks very plainly in the gospel: Life as a follower of Christ would not be plain sailing. There would be divisions in families and persecution from authorities. His radical message of love and forgiveness would be so powerful that some people would not be able to accept it.
We might look at Stephen and think, “Wow, what an amazing faith he had! He must have been super-spiritual and blessed by God to be able to do that”, not thinking that is something we are going to do. It’s true, we are very unlikely to experience a violent and painful death at the hands of persecutors, but in following Jesus, like Stephen, we are invited, indeed called, to surrender control over our own lives, to go where God leads us rather than where we think we’d like to go. And that is not always an easy thing to take on. In our own way we are ‘stiff-necked people’ as Stephen calls them, resisting the holy spirit and God’s call on our lives.
Something had clearly happened to Stephen as a result of his following Jesus. He was a changed man. We are told that he faced the rage of the council by gazing up into heaven where he saw the glory of God and Jesus standing
at his right hand. Even while he was being stoned, he prayed for his oppressors, as Jesus had done when he was on the cross, asking forgiveness for them. He was able to accept his fate with grace and peace. Earlier in chapter six when he comes before the council, he is described as having ‘the face of an angel’. He had surrendered to Jesus and this meant that God could work through him and in him more fully. He had the words to say to the authorities, just as Jesus had promised.
So what might be the secret to this surrendering to God? How do we get ourselves to that place of abandonment? In our capitalist, consumer culture, it’s easy to feel that we simply need to strive and work hard to do it. That a lot depends on us. The fact is we only truly give ourselves to God in response to his love for us… when we experience God’s love, we can’t NOT give ourselves to him. My experience, particularly on that retreat, was like being wooed, being gently pursued, with a continual invitation to come a little closer, go a little deeper into God’s presence, without any conditions. My part was simply to make myself available and to desire that connection with God. It became an experience so compelling that I could not resist it. I left with a sense that I wanted to go where God led me, out of love, not out of any sense of obligation. The idea of encountering suffering along the way became just part of the picture, and if that was where God was, then that meant it would be bearable somehow.
And it’s not a ‘once and done’ thing… like peeling an onion, there is always another layer to uncover, another part of ourselves to be given over to God, and it is a lifetime’s work. Our part is to want it and to make ourselves available – that is all. When we do that, we find that God meets us.
So this baby, whose birth we celebrated yesterday, will go on to show us all we need to know. His life took him to the ultimate place of suffering, the cross, and to new life beyond it. We can entrust ourselves to him completely and in losing ourselves, we discover the life we really want. Amen.